Anxiety.

So after almost 2 years of training (9 weeks of basic training in '05, a 2 week AT last summer, countless weekend drills, class meetings, packing anxiety) I find myself rapidly approaching on my last 2 week training event for OCS here in VA.

Its been humbling so far. Because while the military stuff is known to me in theory, in practice its been difficult. I have never done so badly (in respect to others) in my life and its hurt my ego a lot. I did do well on the technical aspects (I have always been a quick study and the classes are at least vaguely familiar to me) but when it comes down to the practical parts I have found myself come up far short of my expectations.
And now in a handful of days it all comes down to how well I can execute a mission out in the field. One, maybe 2 chances to prove that I am worthy of leading the best soldiers in the world. No pressure at all..... Though I know that I can rise to the pressure and I have gotten pretty good support from my trainers at the OCS Company.

The packing is done, the papers I need are printed, the mind is already getting into the right mood. Time to spend some time with the family and GF. Oddly I am looking forward to seeing some of the great people that I met last summer, see some of the other candidates from VA and to see my good buddy PW (who will be joining us down in Alabama after doing the accelerated course. That and at this point I want to get over this hump and get on to the next challenge.

T-minus 2 days to departure...